Glossary

Co-Sleeping
A skilled athletic sport attempted only by the most committed of athletes and exhausted of parents. Sleeping in the same bed or room as your child. Facilitates night nursing and is completely safe when done right.

  • E.g. "My MIL asked me if I was getting any sleep at night. I told her that I'm co-sleeping. She looked at me like I was crazy!"
  • E.g. "My baby was doing a total donkey kong during our co-sleeping last night."


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Couche
French for diaper.

  • E.g. "Do you have a poopy couche? Let's change that couche! Here we go, it's time for the couche song... Changing the couche, changing the couche, look at us, cha-a-anging the couche, changing the couche, Sweet Baby James and his couche-couche-couche! OK, all done!"


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Honey Badger
A very active, sometimes aggressive child whose determination is matched only by his/her physicality. Often independently-minded, sometimes perceived as difficult, always interesting. Also, a small snake-eating species of mustelid native to Africa, the Middle East and the Indian Subcontinent.



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La-Las/Booby Snack

Our preferred terms for breastfeeding (Svea's and Sarah's, respectively). A term chosen with great care, in consideration of the mother's intention to continue to nurse into toddlerhood. Anyone using this word within the child's earshot should be prepared to lift up their shirt and nurse him.

  • E.g. "Is it time for a booby snack?"
  • E.g. "Do you want some la-las?"


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Let down (sometimes called "Let down reflex" or simply "The Spray")
The sudden and often forceful flow or spray of milk from the nipple of a lactating woman. Brought on by the action of sucking or breastpumping, thoughts of breastfeeding, or the cries of one's own or another's baby. Sometimes signaled by a painful or tingling sensation, it causes one to check one's nursing pads not-so-surreptitiously, or to search frantically for something with which to cover one's suddenly soaked t-shirt.



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Mamactivism (women's movement, not to be confused with lactivism or intactivism)
The radical concept that mothers are people with the right to lead fulfilling, active, adult lives. Mamactivists believe a mother should be able to do most things other adults do — with a kid on her arm if she so chooses. See Mamactivism sub-blog, www.mamactivism.wordpress.com.

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Momtuition 
That special power that come with motherhood. Accompanies the growth of eyes in the back of your head, and the ability to know that your child is up to something. It also alerts you when something is not right.




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Pump a Snack
To produce a small amount of breastmilk through the use of a breastpump. Perfect for handing off to the father when mama needs to get some sleep and he's not quite sure he can handle the newborn on his own.

  • E.g. "Honey, did you pump a snack for me?" "Yes, well, not for you - for the baby."


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Sling (ring sling, porte-bébé)
A simple, wrap-style baby carrier, usually facilitated with the use of two strength-tested rings.



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Sweet Baby James/P.
Our chosen baby pseudonyms (Svea's and Sarah's, respectively). P is four months older than Sweet Baby James, whose lengthy moniker is derived from a James Taylor song.


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Twoddler
Like a tween but a lot younger: an infant inhabiting the stage between baby and toddler. Used to describe a mobile, precocious, and clearly brilliant child.

  • E.g. "You know what my twoddler did today? He pointed at a Winnie the Pooh picture and made a barkind sound. I was like, Wow, he's abstracted the idea of dog and generalized it to cartoon bears. SMART."

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THFS (Too Hot For Stroller)
A babywearing mama or papa who knows how to rock the look with style and grace. See THFS sub-blog, www.toohotforstroller.wordpress.com 

  • E.g. "Did you see that girl wearing high heels and a mei-tai? Holy crap, way THFS."
  • E.g. "My husband was wearing no shirt -- and the baby -- around the house this morning. I just about called the sitter to come in right then. THFS. You know it."


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Other Common Abbreviations:
LO - Little One
SO - Significant Other
MIL - Mother In-Law
ANR - Adult Nursing Relationship (just kidding)

On Aroma, Part II

"Is he pooping?... Or is that just the breadmaker?"

On date night

Husband calls on way home with kids in car.

Husband: Hey! So we are on the way home now, be there in a few!

Wife: Excellent! There's an already made bottle of breastmilk in the bottle warmer, and I've locked myself in the office with a bottle of wine and two glasses- see you soon sexy lover!

Husband: uhhh. *clears throat* your on speaker phone...

Everyone in car: Hiiiii Mommmmyyyyy!!!!

Wife: ...